Random doesn't even begin to cut it.

I couldn't think of a good title for this post because I have a feeling it's going to be brain explosion. Here goes.

- I haven't touched my blog in God knows how long, but that's the great thing about a blog ... it's your little piece of the world on the internet and you can leave it alone but it's always there when you come back. I'm hoping to come back a little more frequently.

- The tooth fairy came to visit us twice and I didn't even write a post about the momentous occasion! The Mad Hatter lost 2 teeth in 3 days. Loose, out, tooth fairy time. I made her one of these:

Except her name is not Aliza. This one was a gift for someone. And the one I made her isn't this pattern. I have a picture of it somewhere but I'm too lazy to locate it. And I'm going to make one just like this because I love the fabric combo. So that's that. There was lots of fairy dust everywhere, a Unicorn Pillow Pet, money, and sugar-free gum, along with a lovely note from hers truly (yes, the tooth fairy is female) that MH loved having us read to her. Great fun in this household but no sight of any more wigglies since.

- The Mad Hatter is thriving along in kindergarten! She aced the PALS (literacy/math) testing, and is reading to us. Reading! Do you have any idea what my heart felt like when she came home with her first weekly "reading challenge" book and read it to me, my mother, DH, my father, and anyone else who would listen? I thought my heart might just explode with pride. She is changing and growing so much every day and amazing us with the things she knows.

- Which brings me to the other side of having a kindergartener. One who will be 6 in February but is really going on 36. OY. OY. OY. It's about all I can say right now. She loves staring at herself in any mirror she can find. She's all about fashion. She's all about doing things her way. Like putting lip gloss on her week-old American Girl doll. Because she "wanted to make her look prettier." She has an answer for everything. Which is really quite annoying if you ask me. It's all about control, friends, and lately I feel like I'm losing mine.

- I've been sick with a horrible bug. Really, really sick. And I realized I get really sick almost every year right around this time. I'm hoping this is it for the season, because this was no Man Cold. This was 3 days of 102 degree fever. The fever finally broke and I continued to cough so much DH asked me if I needed a moment to retrieve my lung from the floor. I'm still coughing. And living with the guilt that I did not make it to my father-in-law's funeral. Yep, you read that correctly. Very sadly, DH's dad passed away this past weekend. While it was semi-sudden to us, we were prepared (you know, in the way you are when they tell you someone won't be leaving the hospital after they've been there for just a few days). Either he knew how sick he was and didn't tell anyone, or he had no clue. Either way, he didn't suffer because the family made the decision to keep him comfortable with anxiety drugs and morphine. I, however, am suffering. What kind of person isn't at their husband's side for the funeral and shiva? Apparently one with a 102 degree fever who can barely form sentences. But can cry. A lot. And explaining death to said kindergartener? Oh so heartbreaking, even with some advance warning. I'm thinking that the behavior of late is definitely connected to this ...

- I didn't even do holiday cards this year. Shame on me, but I haven't been in "the spirit", and the idea seemed daunting. Merry Christmas. Hope you had a Happy Hanukkah. And Kwanzaa? Not sure when it is but I'm sending my best wishes and/or hope it was great.

- Speaking of spirit, I can't believe it's almost New Year's. Where has the last part of this year gone? 2011? We've got plans to go to a family party at our friends' home in MA. Super looking forward to it, especially since this is a childhood friendship rekindled. It's even better as grownups.

- All this death stuff has my brain in overdrive. And I can't stop crying. Sometimes I hate mortality. Maybe I can change the fact that I'm the one person in America who did not get sucked into the Twilight Saga, go back and force myself to read them all, become obsessed with vampires, and see how I could get my family into that kind of lifestyle. Or not.

- In good news, I've lost 35 lbs. since April. I've done it with Weight Watchers, which I love, and truly believe is the only program that works. I really should post some sort of before and now pics (there's no after yet because I have stalled with holiday treats, and really want to get back on the wagon to lose another 30-40). Anyways, I now own leggings (who, me?) and skinny jeans (skinny in the same sentence as Mommy - shocking!). DH and my mom would probably like to shoot me because I spend my days asking if I look like I shouldn't be wearing them, but I get a little obsessed like that. However, can you say comfortable? Nothing makes me happier than leggings and a huge comfy sweater. Well, I'm sure there are other things. Perhaps some of them are inappropriate to chat about here. So, we'll leave it at the fact that leggings. make. me. HAPPY. Now I better stop eating holiday treats so I can keep wearing them.

- I am going to Florida ONE MONTH from TODAY! It's a girls' only trip - my mom, MH and I are going to visit my Grandma. So excited! So many firsts - MH's first plane ride, first time in Florida, oh the fun we are going to have. Did I mention that Grandma lives RIGHT on the beach? In a gorgeous condo? I stop in my tracks every time I walk by her balcony window and see the beautiful ocean - truly breathtaking. I'm so looking forward to this vacation and being with the 2 generations before me and the one after me. And McMommy - get ready, I've got 7 days and nights and this time we'll make it work or else! And I believe you - I'll go in a dark bathroom with you :)

OK, so there's so much more but I am going to stop for now. I guess that's what happens when you neglect your blog for 2 months and 16 days (just noticed my last blog post was October 1st). But, like I said, that's the best part of the blogosphere - your blog, and bloggy friends are always there and so forgiving.

Happy Holidays, and I hope to be back to blogging more regularly, as I realize how cathartic it is and how much I've truly missed it. And as for my lack of commenting? Lazy - I read my fave blogs through Google Reader on my iPhone and don't visit actual blogs unless I have a specific reason. I really need to try and fix that. I love you all and hope you know who you are. And I'm sorry this is so rambly and long ... and I apologize if there are type-o's, mis-spells, and incorrect grammar. Usually that stuff drives me nuts so I edit and re-edit myself but tonight I just can't be bothered. I know you love me as I am. And for that, see the comment a few sentences back. Sweet dreams.

The post where I come back after 2 months . . .

. . . and the crazy reason why!

I have been getting comments (which I now realize are spam) for months now in another language.

Somethine potentially Chinese.

Or Japanese.

Or Korean.

I've even tried to translate it. You know, just out of sheer curiosity.

Nothing.

Well now, it's just plain annoying.

If you want to comment on something I wrote 4 months ago, talk to me in a language I understand.

So unfortunately for those of you who read my blog hahahaha, isn't that hilarious since I've written nothing to be read in say, FOREVER! and leave me comment love, I've decided to turn on word verification for a while to see if this will help resolve the issue.

While I'm here, I may as well do a brief update, filled with bits of random:

1) After a week of a cold/virus that seemed like it was getting better, I turned the road into sinus hell yesterday and am now on antibiotics for a raging sinus infection.

2) Said antibiotics are causing extreme nausea because a) I have a weak stomach and b) I can barely muster an appetite to get any food down to eat with these bad boys. I pretty much feel like a truck ran me over, backed up, and did it again.

3) My little Mad Hatter is more endearing and loveable than ever. She is going to be 5 in a little less than THREE MONTHS! I am in complete denial. My baby can not be turning 5.

4) I am now a part-time working mom! This has been a huge adjustment on many levels - one of which being that the last time I had a career, I was not yet a mommy. I also didn't realize or maybe was just in complete denial that agreeing to a part-time job would actually equate to a full-time career that far exceeds the hours I am "supposed" to be working on a weekly basis. I work 3 full days a week and just finished my second month. It's flown and I love most aspects of it - especially the empowerment of that paycheck that gets direct-deposited every other Friday. It feels totally different after not working for 5 years.

5) I have total blog neglect guilt. I have so much to say, so many people's blogs I'd love to be reading and commenting on, and miss all of my bloggy and Twitter friends. But there are only so many hours in the day and this tired Mommy has been a lot more discerning about her lack of free time. I had the respect before, but let me tell you -those of you with more than one child and full-time career - I am now bowing down to you. I don't know WHERE you find the time do deal with your regular life AND blog, comment, and even do giveaways and reviews. You. Amaze. Me.

6) I just got the most amazing tea at Trader Joe's. It's called RENEW and it's an herbal green tea that is both delicious and soothing. I highly recommend it. If I could meet Joe I'd give him a big fat kiss for enhancing and enriching the status of my family's gastric lives.

7) The MH is finally getting the H1N1 vaccination tomorrow - something I never thought I'd actually be excited about, but if I'd been sans brain-crushing headache last night, would have been jumping up and down about when I got the pediatrician's email and scored a spot at the clinic.

8) I really hope that this will be the last of my blog neglect. Now that I'm here visiting my own special space, it's like catching up with an old, missed friend. Blog, you know I haven't meant to neglect you. My life has just taken over. But, my life is what I'm here to document, it's why I started you. So, for now I'll be realistic and set a goal of spending some quality time with you at least once a week.

If I'm doing a proper blog post, I should include a little eye candy for the grandparents, uncle, and anyone else who cares:

My gorgeous little Ariel ready for Halloween

Whose hair I patiently and lovingly worked on for ONE HOUR . . .

The awesome (if I do say so myself) hair clip I made to go with her costume (photo taken on preschool dress-up day) Note to self, the half hour of braiding wet hair the night before schoool was well worth the time and effort because as you'll see in the following shot . . .

THIS is what her hair looked like exactly one hour after I finished my hard work with that curling iron. I lost one hour of my life, nearly lost my temper a couple of times, may or may not have needed a drink by the time I was done . . . but all in all, would not change a thing because the bottom line is this:

It was gorgeous while it lasted, and if you ask me, waves or not - my girl is just plain stunning!

Friends who are loyal and still here reading, I love you and miss you!

And, I guess I should give props where props are due:

Thank you Asian spammers. Thanks for bringing me back.

The post where I either look crazy or you're giving the screen that understanding nod.

To date this is probably my most random blog post, but I was noticing something today and my first thought besides Mother F(@*eR, AGAIN?!? was that I can't be the only person out there who has noticed this.

Anyways . . .

Public restrooms - not a fan.

I think it's safe to say that most of us ladies aren't.

There's the whole balancing act, making sure your clothes, handbag, shopping bags, whatever don't hit the floor (or wall, or door, or anything).

Add kids to the mix and it just gets even more insane. I swear for every time I say don't touch the Mad Hatter feels the need to touch five things.

Then the hand washing while trying to maintain said balancing act.

While you try to balance everything and lift your little one up to help her wash her hands.

I'm a big fan of anti-bacterial gel and wipes - huge.

Anyway, I'm digressing.

I've noticed a common trend.

For some reason this trend has become far more apparent to me over the past year (then again, I have been on what I like to refer to as the tour de potties ever since MH got potty-trained . I swear, we need to explore the bathroom everywhere we go - you know, just to be sure it exists).

What is this trend, you ask?

I'll tell you. It is the severely agitating lack of working toilet paper.

It's bad enough that it's thin, scratchy, and so industrial.

I can never seem to get it off the roll!

It tears off in small pieces. The roll is so ginormous it won't turn. For some reason the roll-holder-rod thingy doesn't fit correctly in the middle of the roll itself, therefore making it impossible to move. The roll gets butted up against the backup roll and jammed. Or, the roll itself is badly misshapen and doesn't move correctly inside of the holder.

For whatever the reason, you're in this vulnerable position, literally hovering mid-air, and all you want is a nice smooth toilet-paper transaction.

The kind you get at home - the paper glides right off the roll and you're ready to wipe, wash, on be your way.

Too much to ask for?

I almost never experience a smooth transaction in a public restroom.

Maybe I'm crazy? Don't answer that.

It could just be that today was my first child-free day in over two weeks, and while I was experiencing this exact issue in a lovely Nordstrom ladies' room I got to thinking about the fact that when it comes to public restrooms, toilet paper does not discriminate over where it decides to be a big fat pain in the ass (yes, very bad pun intended).

From high-end department stores to home improvement warehouse stores, you can pretty much count on a battle that you're pretty unlikely to win.

Sadly after I finished cursing to myself and piecing together enough TP to get out of that bathroom pronto, the first thing I thought of was all my friends in the blogosphere and how I knew you'd all be more than happy to weigh in on the subject.

So tell me, does this happen to you?

Do you ever wonder why once again, the men just seem to have it so much easier?



Oh, and Nordstrom? I love you. I love your service. I love your cafe. Now please, man-up and get the foam soap. Even BJ's wholesale club has nicer soap than that hot pink industrial stuff you're still serving up - touch-free and sensor-automated, of course.

On My Brain

Some call it random thoughts. Others brain potpourri. Others mish-mash.

For me, it's what's on my brain.

Lots of stuff going on around in there.

Not a ton of it coherent.

But, I need to get a bunch of it out, so here goes:

1) I can understand my ridiculous need to clean before the cleaning lady comes, but should I really have to be doing it after? Seriously, the woman can forget to clean my bathroom mirror, dust my entire family room, and miss vacuuming the stairs. The problem is, my back throws a slight wrench in my cleaning abilities, and good help is hard to find. Finding someone you trust is even harder. The hardest? Telling the one you have that they suck.

2) Why was I able to eat for part of yesterday and all of today, and all of a sudden feel overcome with another round of nausea, weakness, and utter exhaustion 20 minutes ago? If I'm all better, shouldn't I be all better?

3) I hope the Mad Hatter never starts calling Subway by its correct name and forever refers to it as "Someways".

4) It makes me incredibly sad when the MH starts saying things correctly that were formerly highly ranked on my humor list (au revoir "thanks you", I miss you terribly.).

5) I need a way to start making some serious money. Now. Anyone have ideas? Or some they'd like to send me? Or instructions on how to defrost the frozen money tree in my tundra of a backyard?

6) I had the beginnings of a massive panic attack when I picked up the MH from preschool today. I felt like I should be wearing a mask and spraying Lysol in front of me as I walked in. Scary germ-hotel.

7) I had lunch today with a dear friend who moved from RI to CA about 6 years ago. I miss her terribly and love the fact that we always pick up exactly where we left off. Slightly disconcerting? Her almost-three-year-old can navigate a globe far more quickly than I can at age 33. At Barnes and Noble, she showed me where she lives (CA), where her Nana and Papa currently live (Hong Kong), and where we were right then (MA). It was both amazing and sad - I suck at geography and this kid put me to shame. The fact that she is absolutely adorable and the sweetest little thing in the world definitely work in her favor.

8) It is so windy right now I can feel the walls of our house shaking. Deck furniture is moving around. I'm wondering if Miss Gulch and her little dog are on their way to the cul-de-sac.

9) I'm wondering how so many wonderful blogger moms have time to blog daily (we're talking quality posts), Facebook daily, Twitter daily, do giveaways, reviews, yada-ya and still manage to be amazing moms, wives, and spend quality time with their families. Because I just can't seem to get a grip on it all.

10) DH always busts my chops about returning things. I have a slight problem. I can't just go straight to the register, make the return and leave the store (can you?). Today I was returning a pink hoodie to Baby Gap - I'd bought it for the MH a couple of weeks ago, then found something I liked better and decided she didn't need it. I actually behaved myself today (okay, I did peek at the sale section - can you pass it by?). I went to that register and swiped my debit card so the money could be re-deposited into my account. And then I just had to open my mouth. I believe the words were "My husband will be shocked that I managed to walk in here and just make my return!". To which the nice old Baby Gap lady said (almost under her breath) "That really dropped in price". Wouldn't you have had to know the price too? $3.97. So I said, "I can't really re-buy that now, can I?" and she said "What do I care?". Guess who now owns the adorable pink hoodie she didn't really need?

11) I think something was in the water in November of 2008 and I'm pretty happy I didn't drink it. Someone was stuffing more than turkeys (sorry Grandma, I couldn't resist). I must know more than a handful of gals whose bellies are-a-swellin' and who are heading into trimester number 2. Super excited for them! I, however, will continue to live vicariously. And start stocking up on lots of fabulous baby gifts.

This concludes tonight's edition of "On My Brain". There is far more, but if you've read this far I give you major props.

What's on your brain?

Top 5 Tuesday - What's on my mind

Of course it is Tuesday again, and that means another Top 5 list!

This week, Dana has made it super easy - list the top 5 random thoughts floating around in your head.

There are many, this will be good for me.

1) This is my first blog post since last Wednesday and I'm so glad because it makes it really easy for me to post and I have been feeling guilty about not posting or commenting on other blogs (didn't I cover this a couple of weeks ago?).

2) I can not believe it's already Tuesday again. This MH going to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays really makes the week go so fast.

3) I feel overwhelmed right now. As in, trying to get a new business off the ground, trying to be as independent as my back will allow me to be, and doing fun, special things with MH, trying to keep up with physical therapy, having lots of stuff going on this month in our social calendar, trying to read my bloggy friends' blogs and leave comments for them (I promise, I have been reading, just through reader and have not had time for comments - much love to all of you!), being in disbelief that we're halfway through September, just OVERWHELMED in general!

4) I am pissed off that my job (which I never did get around to blogging about but was a job where I was doing bookkeeping on Quickbooks - my dear hubby the accountant taught me, the job literally fell into my lap, and the money was great) has gone to shit because the client is in such major financial trouble that she can't afford to pay for bookkeeping services. But she can't afford not to have them. And I was supposed to be working the 2 days MH is in school. And she changes her mind more often than my dad takes showers (yes that sounds weird, but my dad needs to take a shower any time he changes clothing, and has been known to take 4 in a day - sorry, Dad, for sharing your OCD compulsion with the world - this is a string of random thoughts). Ok, she changes her mind more than Britney changes her hair. Or than John Mayer goes through girlfriends. Or MH asks WHY? You get my point. For 6 weeks, I have had a job, but not really because every week it changes. One week she can't do it, the next week she can. Yesterday she told me not to come today. I'm done. I feel like I've been jerked around. She's a nice lady, and I completely understand that she's under tons of stress and not thinking about how her actions affect me. But they do. And she hasn't paid my "boss". There will be work down the pike, but for now I quit! I'll find something else to do while MH is at school. Like work on starting up that business with my Mom.

5) I'm thinking that this might just be the most boring blog post ever. I am sorry for the ranting and raving. However, it's been therapeutic and that's one of the reasons I started blogging. I am wondering if any of my thoughts have been coherent. I'm not even going to proof read like the anal self I usually am when it comes to blogging. So there.

Ahhhh, that felt wonderful. Join me by doing the same, I promise, it'll be freeing. And then go link up to Dana at Supernanny, Where Are You?

Or, just post your list right here in my comments.

And a special thanks to all of you who humored me last week and shared your top 5 list of reasons for blogging. I loved them all - even if I didn't comment (see #3).

Much love,