What a week . . .

So we had the traumatic 4 month post-op visit to the neurosurgeon on Monday. I cried. A LOT.

I didn't fall asleep until 3AM Tuesday morning.
Hubby was great enough to bring MH to Sweetheart's house so I could get some sleep.

I couldn't sleep. I called Sweetheart (Mom) and cried some more.

I finally fell asleep but had to get up for my massage therappy appt at PT.

The massage therapist BEAT. ME. UP. (really, I love her, but I bruise easily and I've got a big one on my butt to prove it).

I drove (WOO HOO!) for the third time in 4 months to this appt, then went to pick up MH from Sweetheart and Poppy's house. She kept asking me why I was driving.

While lying in bed with MH reading her some bedtime stories, I coughed and felt some pretty serious pain shoot through my spine.

I got Daddy to handle the snuggle time portion of bedtime routine and got myself into bed with an ice pack.

I even whipped out the TENS unit my brother gave me so I could try to shock my muscles into calming down.

I adamantly refused pain meds since my neurosurgeon made me fear I'll turn into an addict.

Again, I did not sleep. At 3:30 I took a Sonata. I watched the sun come up (through my blinds).

I finished half of Remember Me by Sophie Kinsella. It's hilarious. And fun.

I finally fell asleep. At 5:30AM For 3 hours. Mom woke me because I had PT. I wanted to cancel but decided going into the 98 degree pool and moving around some would be good for me.

I could barely walk out of PT.

The ride home was worse.

I could barely make it up the stairs in my house.

Screw the neuro, it was time for pain meds. I shouldn't have listened to him anyways because we know there are no issues.

The pain feels so bad within minutes that I am bawling.

Mom is scared. I don't cry about pain. Even when it's really bad. She is amazing. She gets me into bed, onto ice, legs propped up, and will not leave my side until those drugs start working.

She even offers to put her hands under my back like they do at PT. Mom, I LOVE YOU.

MH is the cutest little doll ever. She wipes my tears away. She asks me if Sebastian singing Under the Sea (we bought Daddy a musical FD card that has become hers) will make me feel better. Abso-freakin-lutely, angel - go for it.

MH stands by my bedside rubbing at her little eyes. I ask her if she's ok.

She tells me her eyes are sad because her mommy is sad. I cry some more. I make her climb into bed with me so I can snuggle her as close as humanly possible.

I HATE that this is the life she knows. No 3 year old should be so filled with caring and empathy.

Or maybe I should be proud that she has these characteristics - she learned them somewhere.

Finally, drugs start kicking in. Mom and MH leave so I can rest.

I finally dose off, but don't sleep for long. More drugs, more sleep.

Mom is amazing - MH is going for a sleepover at Sweetheart and Poppy's house!

She couldn't be more excited. I couldn't be more thankful for better parents.

I was relegated to not moving around much, icing as much as possible, and taking my pain meds.

Hubby brought home my favorite cake batter ice cream after his meeting.

It was dinner, and it was delicious.

I chatted with DH about his day, then got ready for bed. And took more pain meds.

I slept. ALL NIGHT. Finally.

And woke up at 12:oo PM.

I'm still tired. I just took more meds and I might just sleep some more.

Sweetheart and MH are having a ball. They called from the playground and MH kissed the phone and said "look at me". She thinks everyone can see through the phone. I love that about her.

My back is actually feeling a lot better, but I know it needs some calm down time.

And I think I do too.

I'll be calling Chris (my beloved PA) early next week and I am less emotional so I can get a real perspective on this whole back thing and some better professional feedback.

I know it takes time and there are ups and downs but I am so so ready for an uphill jaunt, however slow it needs to be.

I'm sad I am missing out on Jessica's Real Life party over at Farm Fresh.

When I feel better, I will post my real life right here. Although in the meantime, this is it.

My eyes are getting sleepy.

I just realized I typed this entire post kind of Wendi-style. I love Wendi's posts.

I also realized today is my 4 month anniversary of a lumbar spinal fusion.

And despite today's post, I'm doing okay. I'm taking life in stride. Just hitting some speedbumps.

And now, I bid you all goodnight (afternoon).