The post I can’t believe I’m posting.

This is what you get with me … feast or famine.

I hope those of you reading are enjoying the feast.

And since I was talking about pictures today, I thought I’d share one more of yours truly along with the ever-precious Mad Hatter.

It has been a long evening and I’m questioning my sanity in posting this – as my husband just told me, “You got balls.”

Well honey, when you leave for a meeting and MH says “Well, Mommy, look like it’s just you and me!” this is the sort of thing that happens:

For the record, I was not the hair-stylist.

Would you believe that MH got the idea to take a snapshot of us on the webcam and send it to Twitter?

Well.

Girls just wanna have fun.

Hearts, hearts, hearts.

We are completely in Valentine mode around here, and I must say I’m really feeling the love!
The Mad Hatter is already obsessed with hearts, and is SO digging every second of it.

From the blinged-out heart shirt Sweetheart got her to wear to school yesterday, to the awesome crafty stuff Sweetheart and Poppy took her shopping for so she could make Valentines for her friends at school (how much do they rock??), to the fact that she came out of her room this morning fully dressed for the day, and in yet another heart-inspired ensemble (socks and undies included!).

Yesterday, she came home with a small fortune of Valentine’s goodies from her classmates – so much stuff that we had to sort the pile of crack loot into 3 piles – cards (so I can be the awesome Mommy who saves them for her to giggle over when she’s older), CANDY!, and “other” – which included everything from pencils to Play-Doh, to a heart-shaped swirly straw! I’m so glad I decided to go a little nuts this year, and send in some pretty rockin’ loot bags myself.

So, while we’re currently immersed in glittery heart stickers, hand-cut valentines, and a list of other Valentine-y projects to finish before tomorrow, I am in complete love – with soaking all of it in, and most of all, with my precious little valentine.

 

 
Happy Valentine’s Day from our home to yours!

Love

If you've been reading along, you know that the Mad Hatter's turning five earlier this week was quite bittersweet for me.

In an effort to feel less sad about the fact that we're moving farther and farther away from her baby years and definitely into "big girl" territory, I've been trying to focus on some of the things that make five absolutely fabulous and fun.

Have a peek.

 

 

 

It's taken a looooooonnnng time to grow this hair long enough for me to do the thing every mommy (ok, at least this mommy) can't wait to do for their little girl - fun hairstyles.

While her hair may still be baby-fine, and we've been super diligent about having regular trims for the past 3 years (it really does work in making it grow faster and more evenly!), the bangs are completely gone, and it's all long enough for two perfect neat pretty french braids.

The fact that she now comes to me with a brush in hand begging me to do her hair? Priceless.

The fact that she actually sits still? A definite sign that she's getting to be more grown-up. She wants this.

And the fact that she's 150% girlie-girl (note the clip-on earrings she wears from wakeup till bedtime and the oh-so-teenager hairbands around her wrist)?

LOVE.

On Manners . . .

I always said when I had kids, they would learn as early as possible what it means to have good manners.

That we would always say please and thank you, excuse me and you're welcome.

I like to think that considering the MH's age along with a lot of hard work on the part of myself and DH (and my parents as well, with whom she spends quite a bit of time with), she's doing a great job.

Not only does she almost always remember to say please, but if she forgets and I ask her if she forgot to use a certain word, she will actually rephrase her entire question (As in Mommy, can I have some Dora snacks becomes Mommy, may I please have some Dora snacks?).

Don't get me wrong, she's most definitely not perfect. Sometimes she needs a gentle reminder to her to use her manners, but don't us grown-ups sometimes need a reminder?

MH takes preschool very seriously.

Since starting just 4 weeks ago, she comes home with new proclamations and ideas every day.

This month, they've been hard at work using remembering to use (and I'm sure for some of them, just learning!) their manners and learning about feelings.

Imagine my surprise just after her first week when she closed a baby gate on my Dad. I asked her what she should say to Poppy (expecting an "I'm sorry") and here's what we got:

Poppy, I'm so sorry I hurt your feelings. It was an accident. Will you forgive me?

We all stopped in our tracks. It was one of the cutest things I've ever seen, given the expression on her face and the little lilt in her sweet little voice.

When I pick her up from school, we always talk about her day. She'll often tell me random bits and pieces, and lately I hear a lot about how so and so bumped into her in the playground, and she said "You hurt me", and so and so said "I'm sorry, it was an accident", and she said "That's okay, I forgive you.".

I am loving this preschool thing.

Just this morning, she told me she was hungry for breakfast.

MH: Mommy, can I have something from the refrigerator?
Me: Sure, but would you like some pancakes instead?
MH: No thanks you, Mommy. But thanks you for asking me.

Again, I was floored because not only was she using manners, but she went above and beyond.

MH is a lovebug. She even has a shirt proclaiming it. Since she was a baby, she has always had a need for physical contact. Even if we're watching TV together, she likes to hold my hand, or even just have a foot touching me. While it can get annoying at times (say, I'm trying to do something important, like write a blog post about her!), it is extremely endearing.

Last night, when she got out of the tub, she was pretty riled up and exciteable. She was jumping all over the place while I tried to dry her off, and scrambling to get to Daddy. When I asked her to stop, she didn't, and I told her that her behavior was making me sad.

MH (in the tiny empathetic voice that always comes along with this sort of thing): Mommy, I'm so sorry I hurt your feelings.
Me: It's ok, I'd just like you to listen to me and let me dry you off.
MH: OK, can you please dry me off?
I proceed to dry her off while she offers me a hug.
MH: Mommy, can I touch you? (At this point, I think Daddy might laugh. And me too, becaue I'm not sure where this is going). Or do you need your space? I love you so much and I don't want to hurt your feelings again.

Put a fork in my heart, I was done.

Lest you think I some crazy drill-sargeant mom with zero tolerance, let me assure you that my choice of parenting just happens to revolve quite a bit around love and logic. Rather than say no or get angry and yell, I'd rather explain the reasons for things (believe me, I do get angry. Sometimes, quite often.) so she can understand. Isn't this how they learn?

I have always explained to MH that while she loves to give hugs to her friends and be super close to them, sometimes they don't always feel the same way and they need their space.

When we've encountered friends who get a little too aggressive (read: push her around, literally), my choice was to teach her to use her words and say "Please keep your hands on your own body".

She has taken me very literally many times.

She is taken with the phrase "I need my space" even when she doesn't realize she's not quite using it correctly (read: she is lying on top of me and says "Mommy, I need my space.").

Sometimes I'll be tickling her and instead of asking me to stop she give me a firm "keep your hands on your own body!"

But the point for me is that she is using her words. Sometimes I explain to her that she can have all the space she wants but she needs to create it rather than lay on top of me. Sometimes I just smile and hold back my giggles. Other times, she uses the words a little too inappropriately for my liking, and I explain that while those are words we do use sometimes, she is not using them very nicely.

All in all, though, I'd like to think we're doing something pretty darned right.

Besides being a typical (and slightly highly spirited) three and a half year old, she is a great kid. And I say that not just as her mom, but because of so much of what I see around her.

She is clearly getting it, and although she often needs a little reminder, every day I see how grown up she is becoming, and am reminded yet again how proud of her I am.

Remember how I said sometimes us grown-ups need a reminder to use our manners once in a while too? This morning, I apparently didn't hear her say "I love you, Mommy".

MH: Mommy, I said I love you! You know, you're supposed to say it back!

Thanks for the reminder, MH. We definitely still have lots to teach each other.

And P.S. - I will truly cry the day you drop the "s" from thanks you.

A style all your own . . .

I love that each and every day you are becoming a more independent little girl.
(okay, sometimes it makes me sad that you seem to need me a little less each day).

I love your infectious giggle and your need to "do it yourself".

I love what a big girl you are. How you can go to the potty and wash your hands all by yourself.

I love that yesterday, after you splashed around in the bathroom sink for 15 minutes washed your hands, your dress was all wet and you felt the need to change clothes.

I love how when you first came running to find me, you were wearing just underwear and this sweater.

I love that when I asked you where all of your clothes were (meaning the ones you had been wearing the last time I saw you), you replied "In my closet!" without skipping a beat.

I love that when I told you that you needed some clothes on underneath your sweater, this is what you came up with:

I love that despite my insides screaming "No! You can NOT go out of the house looking like that! What will people think of your Mommy?", I was able to embrace your pride and let you go anyways.

I embrace you and all the pride that comes along with getting bigger and more independent each and every day.

I love being your Mommy and knowing that I have a major hand in helping you become the amazing girl Daddy and I are so lucky to call ours.

I love your mad accessorizing skills - from the headband so your hair will look bee-you-tee-ful right down to the "buh-ling buh-ling (read: bling bling) on your coveted flip-flops ("because Mommy wears them").

I love you, Mad Hatter.

You Don't Bring Me Flowers . . .

You don't sing me love songs.

OK, not completely true.

Hubby does surprise me occasionally with flowers.

And quite frankly, I prefer the "just because" of it to getting them for a special occasion.

But The Mad Hatter seems to have come up with a much better way of doing things.

Such a good idea, in fact, that I think if she shared her idea with her Daddy, I'd get flowers all the time.

She's a one stop shopping source - flowers and vase at the ready.

And even some for Daddy!

And why was I so lucky to get these purple flowers on this specific day?

She does mention something about the alarm going off at Uncle Dave's - which did happen that day and made quite an impression on her as she was right there in the thick of all of it, complete with "dat nice lady who sitted wif me on da steps and maked me better" (aka police lady who came because the alarm company automatically calls).

She was completely freaked out by all the loud noise and for the next 2 days everything she said was punctuated by some random comment about the big episode.

I'm just going to assume that her little mind was in overdrive from the day's excitement.

She was all over the place that afternoon, and more full of chatter than usual.

Notice the "strawberries" she's eating? They came from Trader Joe's (on the way home from Uncle Dave's) and right before she gave me those flowers, we had a lovely chat about all the "cool stuff dey have at Trader Joe's - like tuna fish, and cookies, and bananas". I've yet to see a can of tuna fish at TJ's, but maybe I just haven't been looking hard enough.

After the video? She gathered many BLUE! flowers for daddy because he LIKES BLUE! flowers.

She was pretty adamant

Who knew?

Moral of the story: Mommies, if you want to receive flowers more frequently, get your kids to tell Daddy about the MH way. In this economy they're a great deal AND they never die!

Not such a bad day after all . . .

As I should well know by now, the days you expect to be the worst often end up surprising you.

As soon as I hit publish on yesterday's entry, and the Mad Hatter gave me such a heartfelt and unprompted apology, my day did a complete 180.

And of course I edited my post to note that.

And I would like to thank all of you for your kind comments that made me feel like I'm doing something right as a mom to have such a wonderful little girl.

From the moment she apologized, she was the sweet little girl who makes me smile ear to ear and feel lucky that I get to be her mommy.

I went to massage therapy.

It was great, not torturous as I normally find it to be.

I need to open my mouth and be honest more often when the therapist is hurting me - it really helps. What a concept!

My cleaning lady came and gave me sparkling bathrooms and a clean kitchen floor (please don't judge - we must remember that I am out of commission and there are only so many things Daddy can keep up with around here. Even with her help, I still feel like things are never perfect around here!).

My mom, MH, and I went to the beach, where it was an absolutely glorious day.

We got to enjoy watching this:

MH loves to play with her friend B, who just turned 5 and is absolutely gorgeous (not to mention the daughter of one of Mommy's best friends).

And this: The hole that our friend S dug was almost as deep as MH is tall!

And we had our first frozen novelties from the beach snack bar. Yes, that is supposed to be Dora, and this Mommy even got a matching one. MH exclaimed to everyone that we were twins! By the time she was done, she was one big sweet, melty, sticky mess - the only way to be if you're gonna eat pops on the beach!

MH spent some quality time with my Godparents, Uncle A. and Auntie S.

Last summer MH refused to talk to Uncle A., but spent the whole summer telling everyone else "Uncle A. sad.", while refusing to understand that he was sad because she wouldn't give him the time of day.

One day, she actually pointed to an area far away and said "You go sit over dere.". And he did.

Auntie S. and Uncle A. retired last year and moved to Florida. However, they are home in RI and renting a place for the summer, so we are lucky to get to spend some time with them.

Yesterday, I got to watch Uncle A. love her the way he would love his own grandchild if he had one.

And she was a completely different girl - within the first 5 minutes on the beach, they were off on an a-venture walk to look for crabs in the rocks at the end of the beach. They swam together, played together, and I'm pretty sure he had just as much fun as she did - if not more.

My back was hurting me, I cried a little at the fact that Uncle A. stepped in to jump in the waves when MH requested that I join her and couldn't, but mostly I reveled in the fact that I am quite lucky to have the life I have.

Back pain or not, I was at the beach. With good friends and wonderful family.

Back pain or not, I got to giggle as I watched the new SMALLER size bathing suit I bought for MH still fall off of her non-existent little tush.

Back pain or not, my day was wonderful - the exact opposite of what I was expecting when I woke up.

Oh, and in case you were wondering?

My fantabulous new Cutco kitchen shears should be here sometime in the next week or so.

Today's Reasons for Why I Am a Great Mommy

According to the Mad Hatter, of course, in her infinite 3-year old wisdom.

Author's note: comments were both unsolicited, and made at different intervals throughout the our day

1. I am a great mommy because I kiss all of her boo-boos and make her feel soooooo much better (pretty sure that's a regular part of my job)
2. I am a great kisser (not sure if that should go in the book of great parenting)
3. Because I make the Best. Juice. Ever. (who knew that mixing 1/4 part juice to 3/4 parts water would give me such an honor?)
4. Because I'm beautiful and so fancy (to see through the eyes of a 3-year old again!)
5. Because she loves the bathing suit with "dots" that I wore to pool therapy

All comments really were preceded by "My mommy is a great mommy BECAUSE . . ."

Sweetie, I adore you too. And I could never possibly list each and every reason why you are the best daughter in the world. You are amazing, and your bright smile is the highlight of each day I am blessed to spend with you.

But for today, I'll go with this - you're the best daughter in the world because you come up with comments like the above on a regular basis.

And though I'm constantly questioning myself as a parent, if the above reasons make me a great mommy, then I know that for now, I'm definitely doing just fine at all the other stuff.

I love you!

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Edited to add: I posted this after midnight and had to add one more that I got this morning:

"Mommy, you're a great mommy because of all those songs you sing that make me go to sleep".

If only my singing MADE her go to sleep! But I will take the compliment that she likes my singing - she's probably the only one!

Tiny Dancer

With a HUGE personality!

The Mad Hatter has a love for singing, dancing, and all things musical like NOTHING we've ever seen. We go to music class, own just about every musical instrument possible, and have been known to have an impromptu dance party or two in our kitchen (even if my moves are both slow and geriatric at best these days).

MH absolutely LOVES the "aaaahhhh-pod", and knows how to turn on the player all by herself. She thinks the music on the on there is fabulous. Of course she does, it's set to the mix I made for her 3rd birthday party!

Anyways, when I was in my early teens, I could not get enough of the movie Hairspray. I just loved watching underdog Ricki Lake beat out mega-bitch Amber von Tussel, and watching the world fall in love with her while she fell in love and fought for de-segregation on The Corny Collins Dance Show.

I especially loved the cameos by Ric Ocasek and Pia Zedora.

When I got wind of the fact that Hairspray was being re-made AND it would be starring John Travolta, only one of my favorite actors in the world (he's on my list of 5), I knew nothing would stop me from re-living my youth again at age 32 in the local movie theater.

DH selflessly sacrificed 2 hours of date night and took me to see it. I was a little worried he'd hate it, but quickly got over it because I knew I would love it (I mean, it IS all about me, right?). I'm happy to report that it didn't take long before I noticed his feet tapping along to the beat. The soundtrack is contagious! I, of course, had no problem with the added bonus of looking at James Marsden and Zac Efron for a couple of hours. The outcome - we both had a ball and date night was hit.

My parents saw the movie not too long after we did, and my mom instantly purchased the soundtrack. Shortly after, I had my first back surgery and was unable to drive, so MH and I were spending a lot of time in her car as she shlepped us around to doctor's appointments, physical therapy, and any other errand I had to get done (another big shoutout to Sweetheart!).

The Mad Hatter is quite used to having a very large selection of "nusic" in my car, as her favorite CDs have slowly taken over every spot in the 6-CD changer. Mom only has a single CD player, and the first time MH asked for her "nusic", she had nothing but Hairspray in the car.

This was not a problem for my little music lover. Since that day, she has memorized just about every song on the CD. I get such a kick of hearing her little voice belt out (in great tune, I might add) the lyrics when I'm least expecting it. She knows the words better than I do, and she sings with such fervor and gusto!

A couple of weeks ago I went nuts when I found out that Hairspray is currently airing on HBO. When I told Hubs we needed to DVR it, he said he didn't think she'd like it. Mommies always know best.

While I didn't DVR it, one day we were at my parents' house and we put it on for her through On Demand. Watching her face as her favorite music came to life on TV was one of the most priceless things I've ever experienced.

She stood, jaw dropped, glued to the TV for a few minutes, and promptly launched into full-on song and dance. It was fantastic! And while she has no understanding whatsoever of the storyline, which is really pretty sad (until, of course, they overcome segregation on the Corny Collins Show), it's all about the singing and dancing for her. She begs to watch it, and each time just has a ball turning into a dancing fool and singing her little heart out.

Last week, MH requested dinner nusic, and we were happy to oblige. When we had finished eating and DH was cleaning up, MH turned our kitchen into Dance Fever. We were dancing to a variety of faves ranging from Dan Zanes to Barry white, when all of a sudden we got a burst of our now favorite soundtrack ever. "You Can't Stop the Beat" came on, and there was no stopping her. I grabbed my camera, which I am thrilled takes video, and watched her go to town.

And now, making her Bloggywood Debut, I present to you The Marvelous Miss M:

My only hope is that she's still young enough to miss the actual storyline and is only paying attention to the music when she's watching. If she ever comes out with a comment like "I wish EVERY day was Negro Day", I'm done for!

And yes, we will be signing up for dance classes in the fall. My girl's got rhythm!

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Edited to add: please ignore the Mommy's singing voice - to the Mad Hatter's credit, she seems to have found the musical genes I am missing.