Thursday, February 26, 2009

The post where I either look crazy or you're giving the screen that understanding nod.

To date this is probably my most random blog post, but I was noticing something today and my first thought besides Mother F(@*eR, AGAIN?!? was that I can't be the only person out there who has noticed this.

Anyways . . .

Public restrooms - not a fan.

I think it's safe to say that most of us ladies aren't.

There's the whole balancing act, making sure your clothes, handbag, shopping bags, whatever don't hit the floor (or wall, or door, or anything).

Add kids to the mix and it just gets even more insane. I swear for every time I say don't touch the Mad Hatter feels the need to touch five things.

Then the hand washing while trying to maintain said balancing act.

While you try to balance everything and lift your little one up to help her wash her hands.

I'm a big fan of anti-bacterial gel and wipes - huge.

Anyway, I'm digressing.

I've noticed a common trend.

For some reason this trend has become far more apparent to me over the past year (then again, I have been on what I like to refer to as the tour de potties ever since MH got potty-trained . I swear, we need to explore the bathroom everywhere we go - you know, just to be sure it exists).

What is this trend, you ask?

I'll tell you. It is the severely agitating lack of working toilet paper.

It's bad enough that it's thin, scratchy, and so industrial.

I can never seem to get it off the roll!

It tears off in small pieces. The roll is so ginormous it won't turn. For some reason the roll-holder-rod thingy doesn't fit correctly in the middle of the roll itself, therefore making it impossible to move. The roll gets butted up against the backup roll and jammed. Or, the roll itself is badly misshapen and doesn't move correctly inside of the holder.

For whatever the reason, you're in this vulnerable position, literally hovering mid-air, and all you want is a nice smooth toilet-paper transaction.

The kind you get at home - the paper glides right off the roll and you're ready to wipe, wash, on be your way.

Too much to ask for?

I almost never experience a smooth transaction in a public restroom.

Maybe I'm crazy? Don't answer that.

It could just be that today was my first child-free day in over two weeks, and while I was experiencing this exact issue in a lovely Nordstrom ladies' room I got to thinking about the fact that when it comes to public restrooms, toilet paper does not discriminate over where it decides to be a big fat pain in the ass (yes, very bad pun intended).

From high-end department stores to home improvement warehouse stores, you can pretty much count on a battle that you're pretty unlikely to win.

Sadly after I finished cursing to myself and piecing together enough TP to get out of that bathroom pronto, the first thing I thought of was all my friends in the blogosphere and how I knew you'd all be more than happy to weigh in on the subject.

So tell me, does this happen to you?

Do you ever wonder why once again, the men just seem to have it so much easier?

Oh, and Nordstrom? I love you. I love your service. I love your cafe. Now please, man-up and get the foam soap. Even BJ's wholesale club has nicer soap than that hot pink industrial stuff you're still serving up - touch-free and sensor-automated, of course.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

WW - Headline News!

Over the past couple of weeks, the MH and I have been enjoying our 15 minutes of fame!

When our family attended a community Shabbat dinner a few weeks ago, we never dreamed we'd end up on the front page of a publication circulated to the entire Jewish community of RI!

What a special surprise arrived in our mailbox the day before MH's 4th birthday!

As you can see, she's pretty excited about our front page coverage.

And I'm pretty excited to have at least 10 or more of these this for the memory files!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Making Me Happy Monday

It's been a few weeks since I started this weekly post, but we are back up and running! Here's what's on my happy list this Monday!

1) The "tummy tornado" (as I've now dubbed it) leaving our house in time for The Mad Hatter's re-scheduled 4th birthday party. Although I now completely despise Chuck E. Cheese, everyone (especially the guest of honor) seemed to have a blast.

2) A fabulous "school vacation" week with The Mad Hatter - complete with playdates, great behavior, outings to new places, and special mommy/daughter time.

3) A blissful 24+ hours of time alone with my wonderful husband, complete with a trip to Boston to see Dirty Dancing (more here) and a surprise last-minute overnight with a little help from

4) My wonderful parents and brother who were in cohoots when it came to our seeing the show (awesome brother) and having some "us" time (awesome parents who planned an equally awesome weekend for MH)

5) My fabulous "friend" from the Jo Malone counter at Saks who miraculously remembered me from a year ago and hooked me up with some major sample loot.

6) Yes, I'd heard of it before, but I'd never taken the time to go check it out. Oh Picnik, how did I live without you for so long? Want proof of why you should not take as long as I did to check it out? Go here. Can you tell which pics have been touched by the magic?

7) Willpower. A trip to Boston was made this weekend, and out of our commitment to lookin'/feelin' fine in '09, we did not even think about going here. Anyone who knows me knows this is big. HUGE. Oh, okay, fine. I did think about it. A little. BUT, we didn't go, leaving our wallets - not our asses - a little fatter!

8) New friends. MH and I joined a Moms' Club back in the fall, and have finally had a chance to really start going to activities and meeting new people. We've been loving all the new ideas for activities, and the new friends we're meeting along the way!

9) Old friends. School vacation weeks/birthday parties are a great time to catch up with friends who are on different schedules than our own. Starting preschool has been great, but also hard because it makes it difficult to coordinate plans with people we're used to seeing all the time. It was great to look around MH's birthday party and see such a wonderful mix of old and new friends - all of whom I know will be part of our future.

10) All of YOU! My bloggy friends! For being such a wonderful community AND for participating in Making Me Happy Monday! You know you want to do it. You know you've told me you're going to do it one of these weeks. Make this the week! Write your post - I'm sure you can find at least a few things that are making you happy! Then leave me a comment letting me know so I can be sure to stop by your blog!

No time for a post? Leave me a comment with just one or two things that are making you happy right now.

Have a wonderful week!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

It's ok to be a little envious . . .

Guess what DH and I saw in Boston this weekend?

I'll give you a hint.

Frances "Baby" Houseman.

Johnny Castle.

Still need more?

Here you go!

Nope, not the movie.

The pre-Broadway tour of Dirty Dancing The Musical!

My amazingly awesome and generous brother (who lives just outside of the city and is clearly more privy to these things than I am - I didn't even know it had been turned into a musical!) gave us tickets back at Hanukkah.

I cannot believe the weekend has come and gone, but it. was. fantastic.

I'd be lying if I said that it would have been a tad bit better if Johnny Castle did not have an Australian accent. Yes, for me (and the girls I polled behind me just to make sure I wasn't insane), that part was slightly disconcerting.

However, even that didn't kill it for me.

Dirty Dancing is by far one of my all-time favorite movies. The one I could watch overandoverandoverandover again, just like most other women born in the 80's.

I must admit I was a bit concerned curious about how the silver-screen story would translate to a musical.

I mean, there are just parts of the movie that could never be done in play format, right?


The screenwriter of the movie is also the screenwriter of the play.

She clearly had a vision, and did the most amazing job of creating a quite intricate (and very cool) set design, unbelieveable effects, and a fabulous cast.

This is one viewer who was not at all disappointed.

While this was by no means the best play I've ever seen, I'd still go back to see it overandoverandoverandover again.

The music was contagious and I could barely sit still in my seat in the 1,000,000 degree theater for two seconds. OK, I danced the whole time.

My wonderful hubs who never once even inferred that he'd rather be undergoing severe physical torture than attending the performance with me even thought it was great.

Yes, I am a lucky, lucky girl.

At the risk of sounding completely cheesy which of course I do, and I am completely and totally fine with, I had the time of my life.

And in case you're wondering?

On the screen or on the stage, Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

My new favorite pancake recipe.

The Mad Hatter requested pancakes for breakfast "breadfest", and who am I to deny?

She told me that while I was making them she'd tell me the instructions.

I thought that I would do the world my humble audience the complete justice of sharing the cooking tips of my newly-turned four-year old.

Number one, you put water in it.
And number two, put mustard in it. Sorry, that's not mustard - you add mush.
Number three, stir it.
And number four put it on the pancakes.

When I asked what number five was, she told me there isn't any number 5.

Voila, pancakes.

Wait! You can also put cheese, strawberries, and blueberries on it. Oh, and syrup too.

All good tips if you ask me, although the cheese part is questionable.

Hang on a sec, what's that?

Oh, she's pointing something out on the box. That's not cheese (thank goodness she doesn't really think cheese on pancakes is a good idea), it's butter.

Okay, the secret's out.

I'm not Martha Stewart or Donna Reed. I use "add water only" mix.

And they're absolutely delish.

And hey, it's a step up from the frozen mini Aunt Jemimas we usually have on weekdays but are sadly out of on a day that nothing but pancakes will do for the first time in over 2 weeks.

Usually the mix is reserved for once in while Sunday mornings when DH begs special occasions.

I'm good like that.

What are your kids' favorite recipes?

Oh and guess what? Mommy actually ate breakfast for the first time in forever. Maybe I should follow the Mad Hatter's requests and recipes more often!

WW - the Mad Hatter turns FOUR!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

My Two Hearts

MH - you have my heart captured in ways you could never begin to imagine. Sometimes I look at you and wonder what my heart felt like before you.
DH, you still make my heart skip a beat. You've made my heart bigger, stronger, and fuller since the day we met.
But together, you turn my heart into something I can't define.

You watch laundry together.
MH sets up elaborate "surprise" parties and you are the best guest ever.
Happy Valentine's Day my two loves.
You make me complete.
You fill me with love from the top of my head to the bottoms of my feet.
To quote my little Mad Hatter: My heart is boogie-in' right now.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

On My Brain

Some call it random thoughts. Others brain potpourri. Others mish-mash.

For me, it's what's on my brain.

Lots of stuff going on around in there.

Not a ton of it coherent.

But, I need to get a bunch of it out, so here goes:

1) I can understand my ridiculous need to clean before the cleaning lady comes, but should I really have to be doing it after? Seriously, the woman can forget to clean my bathroom mirror, dust my entire family room, and miss vacuuming the stairs. The problem is, my back throws a slight wrench in my cleaning abilities, and good help is hard to find. Finding someone you trust is even harder. The hardest? Telling the one you have that they suck.

2) Why was I able to eat for part of yesterday and all of today, and all of a sudden feel overcome with another round of nausea, weakness, and utter exhaustion 20 minutes ago? If I'm all better, shouldn't I be all better?

3) I hope the Mad Hatter never starts calling Subway by its correct name and forever refers to it as "Someways".

4) It makes me incredibly sad when the MH starts saying things correctly that were formerly highly ranked on my humor list (au revoir "thanks you", I miss you terribly.).

5) I need a way to start making some serious money. Now. Anyone have ideas? Or some they'd like to send me? Or instructions on how to defrost the frozen money tree in my tundra of a backyard?

6) I had the beginnings of a massive panic attack when I picked up the MH from preschool today. I felt like I should be wearing a mask and spraying Lysol in front of me as I walked in. Scary germ-hotel.

7) I had lunch today with a dear friend who moved from RI to CA about 6 years ago. I miss her terribly and love the fact that we always pick up exactly where we left off. Slightly disconcerting? Her almost-three-year-old can navigate a globe far more quickly than I can at age 33. At Barnes and Noble, she showed me where she lives (CA), where her Nana and Papa currently live (Hong Kong), and where we were right then (MA). It was both amazing and sad - I suck at geography and this kid put me to shame. The fact that she is absolutely adorable and the sweetest little thing in the world definitely work in her favor.

8) It is so windy right now I can feel the walls of our house shaking. Deck furniture is moving around. I'm wondering if Miss Gulch and her little dog are on their way to the cul-de-sac.

9) I'm wondering how so many wonderful blogger moms have time to blog daily (we're talking quality posts), Facebook daily, Twitter daily, do giveaways, reviews, yada-ya and still manage to be amazing moms, wives, and spend quality time with their families. Because I just can't seem to get a grip on it all.

10) DH always busts my chops about returning things. I have a slight problem. I can't just go straight to the register, make the return and leave the store (can you?). Today I was returning a pink hoodie to Baby Gap - I'd bought it for the MH a couple of weeks ago, then found something I liked better and decided she didn't need it. I actually behaved myself today (okay, I did peek at the sale section - can you pass it by?). I went to that register and swiped my debit card so the money could be re-deposited into my account. And then I just had to open my mouth. I believe the words were "My husband will be shocked that I managed to walk in here and just make my return!". To which the nice old Baby Gap lady said (almost under her breath) "That really dropped in price". Wouldn't you have had to know the price too? $3.97. So I said, "I can't really re-buy that now, can I?" and she said "What do I care?". Guess who now owns the adorable pink hoodie she didn't really need?

11) I think something was in the water in November of 2008 and I'm pretty happy I didn't drink it. Someone was stuffing more than turkeys (sorry Grandma, I couldn't resist). I must know more than a handful of gals whose bellies are-a-swellin' and who are heading into trimester number 2. Super excited for them! I, however, will continue to live vicariously. And start stocking up on lots of fabulous baby gifts.

This concludes tonight's edition of "On My Brain". There is far more, but if you've read this far I give you major props.

What's on your brain?

We've got much to catch up on!

And it will be here soon . . .

Sadly, my worst preschool fears hit when the Mad Hatter woke up Friday morning with a violent stomach bug.

I'd known in my stomach of stomachs it was going to happen one day, you're just never really prepared for that day.

Or for that day to be the start of your little girl's 4th birthday weekend.

The day of the night you bought tickets to see Dora Live. Months ago. And just told her about the day before. And had to break her little heart by telling her there was no way anyone was going to see Dora Live that night (although thankfully, the ticketing company was amazing and for a mere fee of approximately $50, were were able to postpone the tickets to the last showing).

I also wasn't prepared for the fact that it wasn't in the cards for me to be Invincible Mommy.

While I was so busy doing laundry, changing sheets, washing floors worrying about the MH and whether she'd be well in time for her 4th birthday on Sunday (now full with both a party and Dora Live), it never occurred to me that the stomach flu might claim me prisoner.

Sadly, I'm sure we all know the ending to this story.

Mommy cried (a lot).

Phone calls were made to cancel the party (there would be no party without Mommy present).

Mommy puked (a lot).

Mommy cried some more.

MH had an amazing birthday with her Daddy, Sweetheart, Poppy, and Uncle D, who came in from Boston just to see her.

She got her dream dollhouse from Sweetheart and Poppy.

She ate lunch at Johnny Rockets (one of her faves, although from what I hear she didn't eat all that much - she was, after all, still recovering).

She saw Dora Live with Daddy, Sweetheart, and Poppy while Mommy stayed home and cried some more.

And more than anything, she was the most sensitive, caring, loving, amazing little girl this Mommy could ever ask for.

Did she complain about her party being cancelled? Not once.

Did she echo Daddy while he made cancellation phone calls? You bet: "First I got the bug, now my Mommy has it . . ." was what everyone heard from the peanut gallery

When I asked DH for a cool washcloth, did she bring me one of her own? Absolutely.

Did I cry some more? Of course.

Because my little girl is 4, and She. Is. Amazing.

I will get around to writing a proper post to my baby on her 4th birthday, but I'm just starting to step back into the land of the living.

How come none of those parenting manuals tell you that while your kids seem to bounce back overnight from such an illness, you will not be quite so lucky?

I'm off to sip some more Nectar of the Gods Gatorade.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

WW - Let's Get Messy

Proof for someday years down the road that I was the cool mom who let you do fun and messy things like finger-painting. And you loved it (so did I!)

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

WW - Do these jeans make my butt look big?

Here's what happens when Mommy is getting ready for date night and the Mad Hatter is hanging out watching . . .

Mom, before you put these in the laundry, let's see if they fit me

This is so much fun!

No sweetie, they definitely don't make your butt look big!
It's exhausting work filling mommy's shoes jeans!

Monday, February 2, 2009

Groundhog Schmoundhog

Do we really need a squirrelly little rodent named Phil to tell us that there are 6 more weeks of winter ahead of us???

Here in RI, with the winter we've already had, I'd have been skeptical if he hadn't see his shadow.

I'm wondering - does Groundhog Day exist in the South?

Just sayin' . . .

Sunday, February 1, 2009

One more thing to obsess about

Due to:

-Some difficult days of mommyhood
-Some major sources of stress I'm trying to work out
-The fact that I am trying to get some of my priorities under control, one of which means spending a less time at the computer

My love/hate relationship with Google Reader is back!

I currently have 407 unread messages in my reader.

This does not include recent blogs I've found and have yet to add to my subscriptions.

So for me, this brings up the whole "blogging guilt free" issue again.

Life comes before blogging. It needs to.

Without life, there really is no reason for blogging.

Yet somehow, I struggle with that number. 407 unread posts. Looming over my head.

I worry that my friends in Bloggeritaville are going to give up on me and my blog because I have not been around to read or comment on their blogs.

I wonder how some of the amazing bloggers I read regularly have time to post fabulous things on a daily basis, live the life that provides the fodder for said posts, and still have time to be amazing wives, parents, and have a social life too.

I need re-focus and take a look at my number 3 reason for being MIA in the blogosphere.

Reason three is a good thing. I am re-assessing my life - the things I need to get done, the amount of time I need/want to spend with my family, and realizing that I have been spending WAY too much time on the 'ole laptop and needing to back away a little.

So, bloggy friends, I am committing again to blogging guilt free.

When I have the time, I will visit blogs, comment as I can, and publish my own blog posts.

I need to get back to the basics of why I love blogging.

And I hope you, my bloggie best friends, will stick with me throughout my journey.