Thursday, February 26, 2009

The post where I either look crazy or you're giving the screen that understanding nod.

To date this is probably my most random blog post, but I was noticing something today and my first thought besides Mother F(@*eR, AGAIN?!? was that I can't be the only person out there who has noticed this.

Anyways . . .

Public restrooms - not a fan.

I think it's safe to say that most of us ladies aren't.

There's the whole balancing act, making sure your clothes, handbag, shopping bags, whatever don't hit the floor (or wall, or door, or anything).

Add kids to the mix and it just gets even more insane. I swear for every time I say don't touch the Mad Hatter feels the need to touch five things.

Then the hand washing while trying to maintain said balancing act.

While you try to balance everything and lift your little one up to help her wash her hands.

I'm a big fan of anti-bacterial gel and wipes - huge.

Anyway, I'm digressing.

I've noticed a common trend.

For some reason this trend has become far more apparent to me over the past year (then again, I have been on what I like to refer to as the tour de potties ever since MH got potty-trained . I swear, we need to explore the bathroom everywhere we go - you know, just to be sure it exists).

What is this trend, you ask?

I'll tell you. It is the severely agitating lack of working toilet paper.

It's bad enough that it's thin, scratchy, and so industrial.

I can never seem to get it off the roll!

It tears off in small pieces. The roll is so ginormous it won't turn. For some reason the roll-holder-rod thingy doesn't fit correctly in the middle of the roll itself, therefore making it impossible to move. The roll gets butted up against the backup roll and jammed. Or, the roll itself is badly misshapen and doesn't move correctly inside of the holder.

For whatever the reason, you're in this vulnerable position, literally hovering mid-air, and all you want is a nice smooth toilet-paper transaction.

The kind you get at home - the paper glides right off the roll and you're ready to wipe, wash, on be your way.

Too much to ask for?

I almost never experience a smooth transaction in a public restroom.

Maybe I'm crazy? Don't answer that.

It could just be that today was my first child-free day in over two weeks, and while I was experiencing this exact issue in a lovely Nordstrom ladies' room I got to thinking about the fact that when it comes to public restrooms, toilet paper does not discriminate over where it decides to be a big fat pain in the ass (yes, very bad pun intended).

From high-end department stores to home improvement warehouse stores, you can pretty much count on a battle that you're pretty unlikely to win.

Sadly after I finished cursing to myself and piecing together enough TP to get out of that bathroom pronto, the first thing I thought of was all my friends in the blogosphere and how I knew you'd all be more than happy to weigh in on the subject.

So tell me, does this happen to you?

Do you ever wonder why once again, the men just seem to have it so much easier?

Oh, and Nordstrom? I love you. I love your service. I love your cafe. Now please, man-up and get the foam soap. Even BJ's wholesale club has nicer soap than that hot pink industrial stuff you're still serving up - touch-free and sensor-automated, of course.

10 Fabulous Replies:

C ♥ said...

I hear ya girl.

My booty hurts after icky toilet paper.

LMAO..idk why i just said that. *sigh*

OHmommy said...

OMG, Rach. You ARE right. No matter where you go the TP is the same. Ugh. What a pain in the ass.

Dana said...

EXACTLY right. Maybe we should all start writing to these companies to get nicer restrooms, and make sure they keep them clean.

Sarah said...

You are so right! My 4 yr old daughter will use a trianlge piece of TP the size of a Cheese-IT just because thats what ripped off.
Hmmm....maybe one of us moms need to invent a travel size toilet paper roll. ***Purse size-quilted-extra plush-easy to tear off***

Elaine A. said...

Funny, I have a blog post in the "hopper" about t.p. in the public restroom. Although it's a little different issue...

But yes, I hate those enourmous rolls that don't move and well, I just get in and out and fast as I can!! : )

Lipstick said...

LOL!!!! This is hilarious...I totally know what you mean about the super thin TP!

McMommy said...

AGREED!! I hate, hate, hate public restrooms. As soon as we start HEADING for the restroom, I repeat my mantra to Matthew "Don't touch ANYTHING!" and then I have to repeat it 500 more times....and the kid still ends up touching everything in sight. Eww!!

Krystyn said...

TP sucks everywhere but home!

It must be their way of cutting costs? It's cheaper if you only get that tiny little corner because you are so POd about the situation!

MarvelousMOM said...

You, my dear, are definitely not alone and it is beyond annoying and frustrating. I hate going to the bathroom in public.

Julie said...

I totally agree. Would we be crazy if we carried a roll of the "good stuff" in our pocketbooks?