Misheard

For me, one of the greatest joys of being mommy to an almost five year old (you know, besides the joy of being her mommy) is listening to her say things she has picked up incorrectly, but make perfect sense to her as she's using them.

Example: "Mommy, wanna play train conductor? ON THE BOARD!!!"

It took me a while to decipher the "All Aboard!" translation.

You know those craft how-to segments on you'll always be Noggin to me Nick Jr.?

The ones that make you want to shoot whatever network exec thought it would be great to entice your child with images of Dora and Diego cupcakes that require half an hour rolling out and cutting taffy and fruit roll-ups just so, gathering and manipulating other random supplies to make cupcakes that will never end up looking like they do on TV and you your child will not have a quarter of the attention span to complete so you'll just end up handing over the tub of frosting and calling it a day?

Yeah, those.

The Mad Hatter is now begging to make Ni Hao Kai-lan hats. You know why? Because, and I quote, "they're so cute and there's no sewing on bolt."

What?

No sewing on bolt.


Thank goodness it's 2010 because I had to grab the remote and rewind live TV for that one.

Ri-ight. How did I miss that one? No sewing involved.

But, from what I can see, there is measuring, fabric glue, lots of colors of felt, lots of cutting of felt, and there's not a chance in hell my little fashionista is leaving the house in such an atrocity quite frankly, since this Mommy will likely be the one doing all the work, I'd actually prefer a project that does have sewing "on bolt." That, and I prefer the perfectly coordinated Corky ensembles that are one of the inherent obsessions perks of giving birth to a little girl. Kind of like patterned sweater tights - if you've got a daughter, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Seriously Noggin - uh Nick Jr. - could we just get back to the basics, like baking cookies, frosting them, and covering them with as many M&M's, sprinkles, and other goodies are humanly possible to cram onto a 2" radius while at the same time shoving an equal amount of said goodies down one's throat?

I don't want to look like an uncool mom.

That, and I'm not giving this up:

Thanks - appreciate it!