Or should I say potty-trained little girls.
They don't have penises.
Well that's a rather dumb statement, isn't it?
Anyone who has potty-trained a child knows what comes along with the territory.
The need to be sure there's a bathroom wherever you go (not you, but your child).
The need check out every single bathroom to see what kind of potty it has.
Is it a big one? A little one? Is the water in the sink "magic" (read: does it have a sensor?)?
Can we wave our hands to make paper towel magically appear?
They want to touch everything.
And of course, no matter how many times we ask them if they need to use the potty (at a time that's much more feasible for us to manage with them), the answer is a resounding "NO!"
And five minutes later, when the bathroom is long out of reach, the urgent "Mommy, I need to go potty. NOW!"
Back to the lack of a penis.
Moms with little boys have it pretty easy in that department.
Point and shoot.
In the great outdoors, it's pretty much a no brainer.
If you're in the car, or even in a store, you can use one of these, created by the ever-ingenious McMommy.
Their little tushies don't even need to touch the seat of a potty God only knows whose tushie has previously been touched by!
With a little girl? Not so much.
Yesterday, we took advantage of the amazing fall weather to go apple picking.
After eating lunch, and making sure we (MH) had made sure any potty necessity was under control, off into the orchard we went.
And about 15 minutes into our trek came the urgent call.
We were far from a bathroom.
Against all of my best judgement, I pulled MH into as discreet a location as I could, pulled down her pants, and told her to squat and go.
And she couldn't, just couldn't do it.
So off we ran, back to the main area, to this:
Anyone who knows me knows I do not care much for public bathrooms.
Let alone, port-a-potties.
I would rather hold it until my eyeballs are yellow than go in one of these.
And to have to bring my child into one?
One that has been used over and over by hoardes of people (without particularly good potty manners)?
Have you ever looked at the inside of one of these?
They're scary enough for one person, and they definitely don't have much room for two.
Hubby to the rescue!
And Mommy waiting, armed and ready with lots of Purell.
The best invention ever?
It even comes with these fabulous little bags with an absorbent liner! And it's own little plastic storage sack complete with room for said bags.
We keep it right in the back of our car, where it has come in handy many times over.
At the playground, gotta go? No problem!
On the road with no bathroom in sight? Pull over, do our business, and off we go.
When nature calls, we are prepared.
Unless, of course, we're in the middle of nature when that call comes.
Looks like until I'm ready to carry a potty in my purse, I'm going to have to go with the flow (yep, another bad pun intended).
And pray that Daddy is with us when that call comes!
Editor's note: One of the funniest things I've ever seen is MH "holding it". When do kids actually understand what is known to us grown-ups as a figure of speech. Yep, she literally holds it. All the way to whatever bathroom we can get to fast enough. I've tried to explain that she doesn't actually need to hold it, but she just can't seem to understand the concept. In fact, by these points in time, it involves quite the effort to pry her hands off, get her pants down, and onto said potty without her having a meltdown that it's going to come out. Ahhhh, the joys of being a mommy!