Monday, October 13, 2008

The thing about little girls . . .

Or should I say potty-trained little girls.

They don't have penises.


Well that's a rather dumb statement, isn't it?

Anyone who has potty-trained a child knows what comes along with the territory.

The need to be sure there's a bathroom wherever you go (not you, but your child).

The need check out every single bathroom to see what kind of potty it has.

Is it a big one? A little one? Is the water in the sink "magic" (read: does it have a sensor?)?

Can we wave our hands to make paper towel magically appear?

They want to touch everything.

And of course, no matter how many times we ask them if they need to use the potty (at a time that's much more feasible for us to manage with them), the answer is a resounding "NO!"

And five minutes later, when the bathroom is long out of reach, the urgent "Mommy, I need to go potty. NOW!"

Back to the lack of a penis.

Moms with little boys have it pretty easy in that department.

Point and shoot.

In the great outdoors, it's pretty much a no brainer.

If you're in the car, or even in a store, you can use one of these, created by the ever-ingenious McMommy.

Their little tushies don't even need to touch the seat of a potty God only knows whose tushie has previously been touched by!

With a little girl? Not so much.

Yesterday, we took advantage of the amazing fall weather to go apple picking.

After eating lunch, and making sure we (MH) had made sure any potty necessity was under control, off into the orchard we went.

And about 15 minutes into our trek came the urgent call.

We were far from a bathroom.

Against all of my best judgement, I pulled MH into as discreet a location as I could, pulled down her pants, and told her to squat and go.

And she couldn't, just couldn't do it.

So off we ran, back to the main area, to this:

Anyone who knows me knows I do not care much for public bathrooms.

Let alone, port-a-potties.

I would rather hold it until my eyeballs are yellow than go in one of these.

And to have to bring my child into one?

One that has been used over and over by hoardes of people (without particularly good potty manners)?

Have you ever looked at the inside of one of these?

They're scary enough for one person, and they definitely don't have much room for two.

Hubby to the rescue!

And Mommy waiting, armed and ready with lots of Purell.

Crisis averted.

The best invention ever?

It even comes with these fabulous little bags with an absorbent liner! And it's own little plastic storage sack complete with room for said bags.

We keep it right in the back of our car, where it has come in handy many times over.

At the playground, gotta go? No problem!

On the road with no bathroom in sight? Pull over, do our business, and off we go.

When nature calls, we are prepared.

Unless, of course, we're in the middle of nature when that call comes.

Looks like until I'm ready to carry a potty in my purse, I'm going to have to go with the flow (yep, another bad pun intended).

And pray that Daddy is with us when that call comes!

Editor's note: One of the funniest things I've ever seen is MH "holding it". When do kids actually understand what is known to us grown-ups as a figure of speech. Yep, she literally holds it. All the way to whatever bathroom we can get to fast enough. I've tried to explain that she doesn't actually need to hold it, but she just can't seem to understand the concept. In fact, by these points in time, it involves quite the effort to pry her hands off, get her pants down, and onto said potty without her having a meltdown that it's going to come out. Ahhhh, the joys of being a mommy!

13 Fabulous Replies:

Mandy said...

Awesome post! I am dreading starting potty training w/ my little guy, but I am definitely going to get one of those portable potties!

Melissa said...

I tried to get Kendra to squat and pee but she refused to do it! LOL! I don't blame them though, I hate any time that I've had to do that!

I love that portable potty, that's a really great idea!!! We'll have to get one.... Where did you find it?

Mamasphere said...

My daughter can't squat and pee, either. Has to have her tushy on a toilet, lol. Unless she has an accdient. Those portable potty chairs are awesome!

Heather @ A Boy, A Girl, A Pug said...

Unfortunately, I don't have to worry about getting them to a potty-they are both still in diapers!

I can't wait to get them potty trained though!!

Julie said...

Great post Rach! Poor Maddy, stuck in a yucky porta-potty. I hope Dad help her above the seat while she went? ICK!

Shannon said...

Oh no - I have actually never thought of that. My 3 and 4 year olds are boys - potty trained and LOVE to stand and pee. I can see I am in big trouble when my little girl nears potty-training age . . . thanks for opening my eyes :-)!! Ha-ha!

Kristie said...

I just about died of laughter reading this post. We are almost 2 weeks into potty training our 2.5 year old and I can agree with all that you said in your post. Doesn't blogging about all of it just make it that much easier to handle. At least when your husband was helping your daughter in the portapot you could say to yourself "blog moment" It's what gets me through some of my days...

Piece o' Coconut Cake said...

Hahahaha! I was tagged last week on my blog and had to show what I carry in my purse. I was asked what was the most embarassing thing in my bag and I had to put "a toilet". Yup, a TOILET.

Formercitygirl said...

Well, that's something to look forward to, huh? Seriously, that makes me feel better about my daughter refusing to use her potty.

JSue said...

My 2.5 (almost 3) year old always needs to go potty when my food is placed in front of me in a restaurant. Daddy "claims" that mens' rooms are too disgusting to take the girls. I should show him the ladies' room one day. Women pee on the seats too! (Or is that the little boys that daddies make mommies take potty?)

Humph! Just wait 'till baby boy is out of diapers...until then I'll just keep changing him, IN THE LADIES' ROOM!!!

Elaine A. said...

Perhaps you are getting a little tired of me telling you that you have the female, brunette version of my oldest child. If so, I am sorry. But it's just so true.

Espeically the part in your "Editor's Note" (which I adore BTW!) about "holding it!" OMG the personality "resemblence" between these 2 in uncanny.

Also, can I just say that I think it's quite funny that you took pics of a port 'a potty? HA!

Wendi said...

Oh Rach...this was funny!

I am worried about what "keywords" people will link to your blog from now.

Just sayin.

Carol said...

My 3 year old boy does not get pointing it and peeing anywhere. He prefers to sit down on the job apparently.