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Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Make New Friends

But keep the old.

It reminds me of the song we used to sing when I was a wee little Brownie.

I didn't make it past Brownie-hood. The day long trip into the wilderness at Girl Scout Camp proved that I was in no way ready to devote my childhood to wooden outhouses (I held it the WHOLE day), mess kits, and bugs galore.

Besides, I was probably persuaded to do the whole Brownie thing in the first place because I was too young to know it was anything more than a bunch of little girls getting together eating brownies.

Even then at age 6, I never could resist the temptation of a yummy treat!

And Girl Scouts everywhere, I do thank you for your cookies. Especially the Samoas (now turned Caramel Delights - I still love you anyways).

I digress.

Last week I had the opportunity to catch up with not one, but two "old" friends.

One of these is a girlfriend I met about 5 years ago, and we became instant friends. We shared some great times before we were both moms. I had the pleasure of watching her date and become engaged to her wonderful husband (who incidentally was in my mom's third grade class in another city - absolute clarification that our friendship was fated). I had the honor of being a part of her wedding party. And I've watched as she and her husband welcomed a beautiful little girl 9 months ago and made their family complete. She is an amazing mom, and all-around wonderful person and friend. She and her husband have the kind of relationship others are envious of. Anyways, she is currently working part time at the salon we both go to (which she turned me on to), and I specifically made an appointment for a manicure and pedicure while she was working so we could catch up, and go out for a drink after. Talk about the ultimate girls' night out for me!

The second friend is one DH and I met before we were married, before we were even dating. It was through the Jewish community, and we'd all met through a young professionals and grad students group. I'd gotten involved since I'd recently returned to RI and was looking to meet girlfriends (I did find them, but also found DH, which is another story for another day). We met A, who had moved to RI not long before. And he shortly started dating E, one of the girlfriends I had met. The four of us were inseparable. We did almost everything together, including being a part of each others' weddings. Sadly for us, they moved to California for A's job about 6 years ago and it doesn't look like they'll be moving back. We look forward to their visits home, which are few and far between. As luck would have it, A had a trade show here for business. We were lucky to have him here for dinner Friday night and had lots of time to catch up (although I wish E, and their little girl could have been here too, that would have been perfect!).

It got me thinking about how many friends I've made throughout my life, especially since becoming a mom.

I've got friends I talk to daily or weekly, and some monthly and even yearly.

But what I really got thinking about last Thursday and Friday is how you know your friendship is true.

True friendship is when sometimes you talk every day for months on end. Then "life" happens, and sometimes it's an email here and there. Then it's phone tag. Then two months goes by and you haven't had any form of contact or communication.

But then you do. And you pick right up where you left off. As though no time has gone by at all.

That, my friends, is true friendship.

The kind of friendship you take comfort in. You know that no matter how much time has passed, you can pick up the phone and they will be there in a heartbeat. You get together and giggle nonstop while your horrible waiter keeps coming by to see if you've paid the bill yet. And you just want him to go away because you're enjoying your friendship at its best. And because you know this time is precious, and it might just be another 2 months before it happens again. BUT, you also know that your friendship will always be just like this.

True friendship is wanting to host a great meal for a friend who is in town and you haven't seen in forever. And not minding doing all the cleanup or putting the kiddo to bed so he and DH can sit on the deck and catch up over one of their favorite hobbies - wine and a cigar. And then joining them through all that cigar smoke so you can hear all about the newest job, new home, life with a 2 1/2 year old, and even a potential new home-based job venture (more on that later). Having conversations about people we all used to be friends with but are not of the variety of which I'm discussing right now - friends who have long since drifted out of our lives. Feeling as though nothing in our friendship has changed besides the matter of approximately 3000 miles.

Yes, we meet friends and acquaintances all the time. But we are lucky if we can count the number of true friends we have on one hand.

I like to think that most of the time, I'm pretty cognizant of this fact.

But once in a while, the in-your-face reminder is nice. Not to mention, lots of fun.

13 Fabulous Replies:

Meg said...

I really like this post. I moved here almost 2 years ago and I just fell out of contact with all my friends from back home, even my best friend. I know I can always call her and vice versa. True friendship there.

Jill said...

What a beautiful post - and tribute to your girlfriends!

I'm a TRUE believer in this... I have to as I only get to see my close friends once a year (at best!).

And you're right - close friends are the ones who are with you through thick and thin, who understand when you can't get back via phone or e-mail in a timely manner, and who love you regardless of everything.

Two close friends in one week? You're a lucky, lucky gal!

Wendi said...

What a beautiful tribute to your girlfriends!
I hope they are readers.
(or lurkers)
You really can't beat true friends!

4funboys said...

friends... you pretty much nailed that topic.

count yourself blessed.

Jen said...

I wrote a really similar post a month or so ago, but yours is wayyy better. Regardless, here is the link. I even started it the same way with the girl scout song. Too funny!

http://dailymishmash.com/2008/friendship/

Lipstick said...

I love this post. Love it. I have been reconnecting with lots of people lately and it is so wonderful.

Kristen said...

What a beautiful post!

Truly, your friends are super lucky to have you in their lives, no matter how often! :)

Chelle said...

This post was exactly right and written so beautifully. I agree with you about the friends. You pick up exactly where you had left off.
And the Brownie song? It's now stuck in my head. I think my mom made me join for the cookies...yum...Thin Mints :)
Happy POW!

mom2natnkatncj said...

Very nice. I'm glad you got the chance to catch up with some old friends.

Susan said...

I totally agree with your definition of true friendship. If you can't just pick up where you left off then it was never true friendship to begin with.
Happy POW!

Scrappy Girl said...

I cherish all my friends. Thanks for this great POW post!

Lisa said...

I agree with you. The friends that you can call when you're thrilled & you know they'll be thrilled with you and the friends that you can call when you're down & out & know that they'll be there with you too.

Great post!

McMommy said...

This is a perfect POW!! I love it. It's so true...you just KNOW who your true lifelong friends are...even if you don't talk to them every single day. Would you believe my closest friends are from 1st grade??? I'm not even kidding. We all went to grade school and high school together...then took off to different colleges and now live all over the US. But we still keep in touch. I love it.

It sounds like your friendships are the same way...TRUE!!