It can't be wrong if we BOTH heard it!

I was awakened today by my little monkey MH, climbing all over me.


This is not really much different than usual.


She is a tiny thing, really - at three and a half she weighs about 31 pounds fully clothed.

BUT, those 31 pounds really hurt this easily bruising, recovering from a spinal fusion mommy. I end up bracing myself, which in turn hurts my back, and it's just never a good thing.

Because the throws her whole 31 pound body into me, with all her little might.

She's not doing it to hurt me - she is just very excited to be with her mommy and wants to express love. But we've told her over, and over, and over that she just can't do that!

She can snuggle with me, cuddle with me, whatever - but there is no running and crashing into me, no climbing all over me in bed, no being on top of me.

Alas my pleas goes unheard on a daily basis.

I have so many little bruises one might think I've been suffering spousal abuse.

I digress.

This morning, the little darling climbed up, and on her way over me to the other side of the bed, kneed me right in the lower stomach.

If you're like me, you really have to pee first thing in the morning - badly. I should correct myself here and note that I got kneed in the stomack and bladder.

I almost wet my pants. For real.

Daddy instantly reprimanded her, but I've decided that it's not enough. I told her to go in her room and take a time out.

She cried hysterically, carried on, and went to sit on her bed in the semi-dark. This went on for several minutes, which is actually pretty unusual. She normally takes her time outs like a woman.

I finally went in to ask her to calm down, and explain again that she was just taking a break because she cannot continue that behavior and needs to learn that there will be consequences if she does.

She instantly stopped crying, and I told her I'd let her know when she could come out.

A couple of minutes later, a tiny voice calls from her room "Daddy, can I have a fuckin' rest?"

We both heard it. DH was in the kitchen and came running down the hall with this hilarious and incredulous look on his face. "What did she just say?" he asked me. I had the same dumbfounded look on my face.

Daddy calmly called "what did you just say?"

And her answer again: "Can I have a fuckin' rest?"

We looked at each other, unsure of what to do, besides dissolve in fits of laughter.

He whispered "where would she get that from?" and although we both know I have an affinity for the "F" word, I don't use it around her.

He finally went into her room and asked her one more time what she said.

She was standing at her bookcase and repeated a final time "Can I have a book and rest?"

Perfect sense.

And while I know she'll eventually learn those words, I'm glad we seem to have dodged a bullet for now.