Saturday, August 30, 2008

It can't be wrong if we BOTH heard it!

I was awakened today by my little monkey MH, climbing all over me.

This is not really much different than usual.

She is a tiny thing, really - at three and a half she weighs about 31 pounds fully clothed.

BUT, those 31 pounds really hurt this easily bruising, recovering from a spinal fusion mommy. I end up bracing myself, which in turn hurts my back, and it's just never a good thing.

Because the throws her whole 31 pound body into me, with all her little might.

She's not doing it to hurt me - she is just very excited to be with her mommy and wants to express love. But we've told her over, and over, and over that she just can't do that!

She can snuggle with me, cuddle with me, whatever - but there is no running and crashing into me, no climbing all over me in bed, no being on top of me.

Alas my pleas goes unheard on a daily basis.

I have so many little bruises one might think I've been suffering spousal abuse.

I digress.

This morning, the little darling climbed up, and on her way over me to the other side of the bed, kneed me right in the lower stomach.

If you're like me, you really have to pee first thing in the morning - badly. I should correct myself here and note that I got kneed in the stomack and bladder.

I almost wet my pants. For real.

Daddy instantly reprimanded her, but I've decided that it's not enough. I told her to go in her room and take a time out.

She cried hysterically, carried on, and went to sit on her bed in the semi-dark. This went on for several minutes, which is actually pretty unusual. She normally takes her time outs like a woman.

I finally went in to ask her to calm down, and explain again that she was just taking a break because she cannot continue that behavior and needs to learn that there will be consequences if she does.

She instantly stopped crying, and I told her I'd let her know when she could come out.

A couple of minutes later, a tiny voice calls from her room "Daddy, can I have a fuckin' rest?"

We both heard it. DH was in the kitchen and came running down the hall with this hilarious and incredulous look on his face. "What did she just say?" he asked me. I had the same dumbfounded look on my face.

Daddy calmly called "what did you just say?"

And her answer again: "Can I have a fuckin' rest?"

We looked at each other, unsure of what to do, besides dissolve in fits of laughter.

He whispered "where would she get that from?" and although we both know I have an affinity for the "F" word, I don't use it around her.

He finally went into her room and asked her one more time what she said.

She was standing at her bookcase and repeated a final time "Can I have a book and rest?"

Perfect sense.

And while I know she'll eventually learn those words, I'm glad we seem to have dodged a bullet for now.

16 Fabulous Replies:

Carol said...

Too funny Rach.

I'm not recovering from spinal fusion but whenever Thomas comes into our room I get a knee or feet or elbow some place undesirable. I could SO live without that.

Marla said...

this is awesome... charlie uses that word for truck... makes for a VERY interesting car ride since he yells at every truck that goes by... :)

we put a gate in Ben's door when he wouldn't stay in there in the morning...

Marni said...

Eeeek! You DEFINITELY dodged that one! :) Too funny!

Simply Shannon said...

I knew she had to be saying something else, I just couldn't figure out what it could be!
Too funny.

Anonymous said...


my Caleb used this word for "Duck" when he was 2,

and the "F*** went WAk WAk!!"

Krystyn said...

Whew! That was a close one.

Mamasphere said...

That is too funny! I was worried that when my sister came to visit, Gabi would pick up on a bad word or two, but we ended up lucky on that one.

And I know what you mean about the bruises. I'm covered head to toe!

georgie said...

awwww to funny...when middle bean was in kindergarten his tr sounds came out fa so instead of saying can I play with that "truck" it was can I play with that "fuck"-we put him in speech therapy immediately since I got letters from his teacher stating his use of profanity would not be tolerated-the nerve of that bitch! ;-)

Carrie said...

Hey my name is Carrie I am your swap partner I am so excited. If you could give me some ideas about things you like or colors it would help. Did I tell you how excited I am! Oh BTW funny

Lipstick said...

Oh this post is just so fuckin' funny!!!

anti-supermom said...

I've learned that even if they do know 'those words' - it can be generally covered up in public with 'another'. Perhaps MH is down with this :)

Of course, my boys don't know the naughty words just yet, but this is the plan when it does happen :)

Happy POW

The White House said...

No Way! That is super funny... Happy POW!

JSue said...

WOW! I freaked when I heard my 5YO say, "What the crap!"

Why is it so hard to hide 'the giggle' when kids do funny things they shouldn't do???

Elaine A. said...

OH those crazy kids, they do love to jump on us in the MOST unfortunate places.

Glad she's not usin' the F word after all!

Lynette said...

Lucky you. My son dropped an 'F bomb' on his grandma when he went to go visit. My fault for using Marines as babysitters.

Wendi said...


Too funny!

This is definitely a story to share for many, many years.
BTW...can I have a book and a rest...please?