The Mad Hatter Goes Missing

I.LOVE.SLEEP. No two ways about it. As a kid, I was hard to wake. In college, I truly learned the art of napping. Several years back during a severe cold spell when we thought our heat was broken, I went to bed under about 10 blankets and managed to sleep through the gas company trampling through my bedroom along with our old dog stomping all over me in bed. When I was in labor with the MH, they gave me something to stop my nausea and anxiety and I passed out so hard the nurse actually had to wake me up to ask me if I would like to have a baby.


To be fair, I've got an underactive thyroid. And while I do take Synthroid to help that, I tend to be a tired girl. I am also recovering from major back surgery and still need my pain meds. Surely these are factors that add for my need for sleep, but I will be honest and tell you that I am a much happier girl once I've gotten my zzzzz's, as are the people around me.


The MH has been having some issues lately when it comes to sleep. As in, she doesn't think she needs it. She's starting to give up naps (sniff sniff), and she's been waking up at night in hysterics. She's 3, so I attribute a lot of the night waking to nightmares, all the new life discoveries she's thinking about, etc. The problem is, when the waking occurs, Hubby can not be the one to go soothe her. She's a bat out of hell, into our bed before he can even ask what's wrong. Which MIGHT be OK with me - if she slept. Instead, she spends her time in our king size bed rolling around, lying across, instead of in between us, chatting, giving us kisses, demanding backrubs, basically everything BUT sleep. All that said, we've been working very hard on soothing her in her room upon these wakeups, even if they entail Mommy sleeping in MH's twin bed with her for a while.


Last night's wake-up call came at 3:15AM. I guess that would make it this morning's wake-up call. Let's first note that I was suffering from some insomnia and didn't fall asleep until about 1:45. We did the usual. I ended up sleeping in her bed. She ended up talking to me for 45 minutes. Some of it was endearing, but mostly I was having thoughts of how after 3 years, maybe this mothering thing is not for me. We finally agreed it was time for her to go to sleep, and after doing the whole going to bed routine yet again, I was sure she was off to la la land. Clearly, I am the one in la la land.


45 minutes later, more hysterics. At this point I tell Hubby to do whatever, as long as she will sleep. Somewhere. She comes into our bed. Surely, she's exhausted, I think. How can she not fall asleep? Apparently, quite easily. Since my last surgery, I've been sleeping with my Snoogle Deluxe body pillow that I used during pregnancy. The MH likes to call it our nest, asking (but of course telling me)"can you make room for me?" as she climbs right in. So, into the nest she came, nudging, kicking, and harrassing me for over an hour. I am so tired and pain-filled I still manage to sleep through most of this. Until she starts singing. At the top of her lungs. I am done. I tell her to go back to her room and read books if she wants to, play if she wants to, ANYTHING, just LET.MOMMY.SLEEP. Hubby suddenly turns to Mister Softee. "Come here, MH, snuggle with Daddy". Nice job, Daddy - make Mommy look like the mean one.


So where is all of this going? Whatever it took (and no, she never did go back to sleep), Hubs kept her occupied and I fell back into a deep, much needed sleep. Around 7:15, I shoot straight up in bed, thinking I heard a doorbell. Surely it would be part of my dream because who would ring my bell at such an unGodly hour? However, I open my eyes and realize my house is dead quiet. No MH at my side watching On Demand (now there's a lifesaver). No Hubby puttering around the kitchen. NO.ONE. I jump out of bed as quickly as anyone with my level of back pain possibly can and quickly find that I am the only one in the house. A pit of fear lunges into my belly. The MH knows how to open our front door and I've been telling Hubs for WEEKS that we need to install a latch lock. She is obsessed with playing outside from the moment she wakes up in the morning, and I think to myself - this is it, he left for work and she decided she was going out to play. Maybe that doorbell I heard in my dream was someone trying to return her. I immediately pick up the phone and call Hubs - here is our convo:



Me (frantic): PLEASE tell me MH is with you

H: Of course! I told you we were going for breakfast, I thought you heard me.

Me: Was I awake when you told me this?

H: no, you were fast asleep.

Me: words not suitable for this blog.

H: I'm so sorry, I figured we'd be back before you even woke up. Well, at least you'll have something to blog about today!


No, my friends, today has not been a fun day. I am overtired and had a tough 2 hour physical therapy session in the pool. When the MH is tired, she gets more riled up and hyper by the second. She has been wired for sound all day long, and I couldn't even force the nap issue because I had yet ANOTHER medical test that Sweetheart had to bring me to this afternoon. Poor Sweetheart might be ready to quite grandma-hood after today.


The good news is, dinner is almost ready, bathtime comes next, and then bed. Just another hour and a half or so, and it'll all be a bad memory. And if this girl doesn't sleep tonight, I might just be checking in to the nearest hotel.


Oh, and that doorbell? Not my imagination! We were supposed to have someone come to give us an estimate on cutting back some trees in our yard - tomorrow. Apparently he got the day wrong. Thanks, Mr. Tree Man, for adding a few more of those gray hairs I've recently been noticing and yanking right out. When you come back to do the job, I'll be sure to send the MH out to keep you entertained for a while!

I started this entry several hours ago. At one point it was MIA from blogger. It came back. And I just checked in on the little one fast asleep and looking so vulnerable in her big girl bed. And I thought, how lucky I am to have you, little MH!

Motherhood - every day we truly learn the meaning of unconditional love. As for the Hubby, well, the verdict is still out.