Thursday, June 19, 2008

What a week . . .

So we had the traumatic 4 month post-op visit to the neurosurgeon on Monday. I cried. A LOT.

I didn't fall asleep until 3AM Tuesday morning.
Hubby was great enough to bring MH to Sweetheart's house so I could get some sleep.

I couldn't sleep. I called Sweetheart (Mom) and cried some more.

I finally fell asleep but had to get up for my massage therappy appt at PT.

The massage therapist BEAT. ME. UP. (really, I love her, but I bruise easily and I've got a big one on my butt to prove it).

I drove (WOO HOO!) for the third time in 4 months to this appt, then went to pick up MH from Sweetheart and Poppy's house. She kept asking me why I was driving.

While lying in bed with MH reading her some bedtime stories, I coughed and felt some pretty serious pain shoot through my spine.

I got Daddy to handle the snuggle time portion of bedtime routine and got myself into bed with an ice pack.

I even whipped out the TENS unit my brother gave me so I could try to shock my muscles into calming down.

I adamantly refused pain meds since my neurosurgeon made me fear I'll turn into an addict.

Again, I did not sleep. At 3:30 I took a Sonata. I watched the sun come up (through my blinds).

I finished half of Remember Me by Sophie Kinsella. It's hilarious. And fun.

I finally fell asleep. At 5:30AM For 3 hours. Mom woke me because I had PT. I wanted to cancel but decided going into the 98 degree pool and moving around some would be good for me.

I could barely walk out of PT.

The ride home was worse.

I could barely make it up the stairs in my house.

Screw the neuro, it was time for pain meds. I shouldn't have listened to him anyways because we know there are no issues.

The pain feels so bad within minutes that I am bawling.

Mom is scared. I don't cry about pain. Even when it's really bad. She is amazing. She gets me into bed, onto ice, legs propped up, and will not leave my side until those drugs start working.

She even offers to put her hands under my back like they do at PT. Mom, I LOVE YOU.

MH is the cutest little doll ever. She wipes my tears away. She asks me if Sebastian singing Under the Sea (we bought Daddy a musical FD card that has become hers) will make me feel better. Abso-freakin-lutely, angel - go for it.

MH stands by my bedside rubbing at her little eyes. I ask her if she's ok.

She tells me her eyes are sad because her mommy is sad. I cry some more. I make her climb into bed with me so I can snuggle her as close as humanly possible.

I HATE that this is the life she knows. No 3 year old should be so filled with caring and empathy.

Or maybe I should be proud that she has these characteristics - she learned them somewhere.

Finally, drugs start kicking in. Mom and MH leave so I can rest.

I finally dose off, but don't sleep for long. More drugs, more sleep.

Mom is amazing - MH is going for a sleepover at Sweetheart and Poppy's house!

She couldn't be more excited. I couldn't be more thankful for better parents.

I was relegated to not moving around much, icing as much as possible, and taking my pain meds.

Hubby brought home my favorite cake batter ice cream after his meeting.

It was dinner, and it was delicious.

I chatted with DH about his day, then got ready for bed. And took more pain meds.

I slept. ALL NIGHT. Finally.

And woke up at 12:oo PM.

I'm still tired. I just took more meds and I might just sleep some more.

Sweetheart and MH are having a ball. They called from the playground and MH kissed the phone and said "look at me". She thinks everyone can see through the phone. I love that about her.

My back is actually feeling a lot better, but I know it needs some calm down time.

And I think I do too.

I'll be calling Chris (my beloved PA) early next week and I am less emotional so I can get a real perspective on this whole back thing and some better professional feedback.

I know it takes time and there are ups and downs but I am so so ready for an uphill jaunt, however slow it needs to be.

I'm sad I am missing out on Jessica's Real Life party over at Farm Fresh.

When I feel better, I will post my real life right here. Although in the meantime, this is it.

My eyes are getting sleepy.

I just realized I typed this entire post kind of Wendi-style. I love Wendi's posts.

I also realized today is my 4 month anniversary of a lumbar spinal fusion.

And despite today's post, I'm doing okay. I'm taking life in stride. Just hitting some speedbumps.

And now, I bid you all goodnight (afternoon).

14 Fabulous Replies:

Carol said...

Rach, what a crappy few days. You clearly need those drugs so don't be listening to that Neuro guy. You know you best. Bless Maddie for being such an angel. My mum had cancer badly when I was 4 it was normal life for me and sure it was hard not having her around very much for months on end but I am so grateful for the person that experience has made me and Maddie will be the same I am sure.

BTW I think your parents deserve an award, they are amazing!

Enjoy your sleep!

McMommy said...

You know, I was thinking the EXACT same thing...about how this reminds me of Wendi's blogging style! It's wonderful....a very true glimpse inside your real life right now. I am so sorry you are in so much pain! Hugs to you!!!

Rae said...

You should be oh so proud of MH! What a terrific little girl you have! I cannot imagine the pain you are experiencing! You and yours are continually in my prayers.

debbie said...

You DO have an amazing little girl! She has more empathy in her little pinky than most people have in their entire body. She is SO SWEET and it comes out in everything she says and does. Not one time EVER does she ever do anything without thinking about her Mommy. This Sweetheart is quite happy that you are getting some much needed sleep today, and hopefully tomorrow will be much better for you. I think that you;re pretty amazing too.! Much love..... Sweetheart

Mamasphere said...

Holy Moley, I didn't realize you'd had a spinal fusion! No wonder you're in so much pain! And, um, YES to the pain medication. Don't worry about getting off of it until the pain is gone.

It sounds like you have an incredibly supportive family. It's a wonderful thing to expose a child to, even if it does involve some tears. Don't worry for a SECOND that this is negatively impacting her, because it's not.

Hope you are feeling better soon!

Marla said...

I hope you feel better soon - life suck when a simple cough sends you over the edge. I'll say a happy prayer for you tonight.

Melissa said...

Awww, Rach!!! Here's a virtual hug for you! {{{{HUG}}}}

Wendi said...

I think I will take my boring little day over yours.
Sorry you are having such a tough time.
Hope you are feeling better soon.
Maybe you should write an open letter to your BACK.
That would be a hoot!
(and it would make you feel better, and 10 pounds lighter)lol
Funny that you think I have a "style".
I was completely unaware that I had one.

Dana said...

I so hope you're feeling better. I tried to stop by earlier, but blogger was not cooperating.

Love the Wendi-style post.

I wish you could have made the party, but there's always next time (or heck, anytime).

I'm really glad your daughter is so amazing. They can frustrate you to no end when they're bad, but when they're good they are truly unbelievable.
Hang in there.

Kristen said...

Oh my goodness!

What a day to start reading. I am hoping that right now you are sleeping peacefully and restfully. Oh my goodness, can I just say that again. WOW.

Hang in there girl, and sending lots of HUGS your way.

Thanks for dropping by my blog, and I will keep reading to see how you are doing as well. :)

Elaine A. said...

Hope that you can be relieved of you pain. You are lucky to have a wonderful family, full of support and love!

Lipstick said...

Wow. You are one tough mommy. I hope you rest well.

The Mom said...

Sounds completely excruciating! *praying for you!*

Ladybug's Picnic said...

I too am recovering from surgery and major complications and can't do half of the things I want to do - and my mom comes several times a week to help me with my 2 kids. If she didn't, we'd all be laying on the couches watching television until my husband got home from work!

I can relate. Huge hugs.